Post by clayton joshua fray on Apr 26, 2010 2:43:22 GMT -5
clayton joshua fray
so, let's start off with the basics. what's your name?"Guess we can't get any more basic than that. *sigh* My full name is Clayton Joshua Fray. Everyone, and I mean everyone calls me Clay. I haven't gone by my full name since my sister's death...Anyway. Basically, I'm named after my grandfather, who died before I was born. I think it flows quite well...Though I hated my parents more than I can describe, they sure knew how to come up with a good name."
oh, it's a nice name! now, would you mind telling us how old you are?"24, ish...I guess, nothing super special, although it says that it's been ten years since I first started drugs...and it marks that I've been on my own for ten years...but on a happier note, it also tells me that I am five years sober! (It's not like that matters....)"
really? you look much younger! well, let's get started. first off, what are you on this tour?"Do I really? Don't really remember the last time I looked in the mirror....I am the lead for a band called "Sunday's Ruin" and I wish like hell that it could fit a piano somewhere in there (they have a keytar so why not a piano? Or a keyboard???)...so much more my forte than singing, (even though people say I do it well). I'm also sort of the unofficial songwriter. Mostly compositions, but I do write lyrics just as often."
oh! so how did you first get involved with batteries not included records?"Well, I had gotten out of my third and last RTC (residential treatment center), and still had nowhere to go. The band needed a lead and I was willing to fill in. :) I don't think it could get any simpler than that to be honest." blockquote]
oh gosh, really? all right, so, how are you enjoying it so far?"I love it, surprisingly. The attention is a little (or a lot more than what I'm used to, but I love being able to see different places, as I was cooped up in a Bronx slum for, I don't know, all of my life. Nah, it's a great feeling to go out there and pour our hearts into every show. It's taken me a while to get used to the idea of performing for reasons that would take too much out of me to say...and it's hard to open up to people for me."
that's great! so, what do you do in your free time when you are not working?'I'm not much for improvising, but I can usually be found at the piano trying to write something, reading, or staring off into space at nothing in particular. I stay away from the party scene as much as I can because the last thing I want is to get back into drugs. I love being around people, so I love talking to fans or doing interviews...just keep me from Zoey Weiss's blog....just a little too much attention than what I'm used to."
oh, i love some of those too! looks like we have alot in common."Oh, good. Maybe I'll find someone who understands me."
so, how has your romantic past been?"Heh...heh.....I never really had time to consider even looking at a woman that way...Really, I'm not much for romance because I am, quite honestly, afraid of relationships. Everything I've ever trusted has been violently torn away from me, and I'm so afraid of that. So, to cut a long story short, I've never been in a true relationship."
and what about now? is that any better? any different?"No, really it's not. The trust issues still play a huge role in the way I am around people, especially...girls."
oh, i see.. hmm... and, what would you say are your turn ons? do you have any turn offs?"In other words the thing that some call "hormones"? Hm.... I think any girl that knows her way around a piano is pretty damn cool and a genuine personality just as well. Girls that try to be all they aren't are....to say the least, not my type. Although if you're pretty...I wouldn't mind. ;).....although narcissists really, really annoy me.....A brain helps too, though....and maybe someone who is just as sarcastic as I am? I also love a girl that can take a hit and stand up for and look after herself.
ooh, that's understandable, mhm. so, give us a bit of detail about yourself."I'd like to consider myself a decent human being. I'm very, very compassionate and I hate, hate, hate seeing people hurt or in pain. It reminds me of me and I think that no one deserves to be in the place I was...to feel the pain I felt and still do. I little thing called empathy plays a huge role in the way I am around people. If the feeling is strong enough, sometimes....I can feel other's emotions and this really helps me talk to and relate to people. I'm really the kind of person that you can talk to. I do not judge based on what's on the outside, and even what's on the inside. I'm easy to talk to and and relate with because
mhmm. well you sound like a fun young man. now, is there anything about your past?I was named after my grandfather, who died before I was born. I was born into a family that was quite far from perfect but seemingly happy. They (considering myself no part of my family at all) rented a small apartment on the gritty East Side of Bronx, New York, and both my parents (if they could even be called that) were unemployed. Even though they lived together and were married, they fought often. Through the first two years of my life, I sat back and watched while they not only fought every fucking day, but pay no attention to me. So, in a word, neglectful. We were through the ground poor and had absolutely nothing. The house was falling apart and food seemed like such a rarity. I was nearly dead from starvation when I guess you could say that she...rescued me.
She taught me basic skills like reading and writing, which I immediately excelled in and when I was eight....she began to teach me piano, as she wasn't a bad musician herself, and quite well known too. I'd like to say that I caught on pretty fast and within a year, I could play some of Mozart's most famous compositions almost from memory. Through this, not only did music start to become my passion but we became too close to describe. She was my best friend and I knew that she'd always be there for me and promised that she'd never leave....but, just barely a month after my tenth birthday not only did she write a beautiful piece (I tell no lies; it would make Beethoven jealous) inspired by and for me but that same day.....I....I..... found her dead, brutally murdered.
I couldn’t describe the pain. It was one of those things that took away all sense and took over your body and mind. For the next year, I continued to learn and love music. I played as a vice in honor of her death in a small music shop just a couple of streets away from ours. It was my drug, my passion, my escape while the fights got even worse. When I was eleven, I started self harm and I think that did it for me. That evil little flame was my new escape and by the time I was twelve, I had almost completely given up on music and the scars from the burns were getting harder to hide, so I made no effort. People on my street taunted me, of course they did, but it's not like I cared. I was 13 when I realized that my mother was less of a useless drunk than I thought; the stupid woman forced me into school. Normally a thirteen year old boy would go into middle school. Not me! I was too smart so they plopped me right into freshman year. Think about that. Take a thirteen year old by with severe trust issues and throw him into a place crowded with people. I hated every minute I was there and instead of taking notes, I continued my self harming habits with eraser burns which didn't make me super popular. Everyone knew me as the self harming kid with one of the shittiest families in the neighborhood. So....I was completely alone.
My teachers admired my intelligence and were disappointed that I didn't try, but why did I care? The only thing I'd ever had in life was gone. What was the point? I guess you could say that my life "turned around" when I was fourteen. Did I fail to mention how crappy the school was? Everyone there used drugs and, lo and behold, someone offered me weed and I took it. Every day I used for about a month. It didn't take long before I became addicted to it. I used the high to escape the pain of home, of losing Alice....of the fact that...I only had one person that believed in me and I pushed her away. My Lit. teacher was absolutely amazing. She convinced both the music teachers and the principal to keep the music room before and after school so I could just....come and go after the music shop I went to closed down. She tried and tried again to get me to talk, to open up but I was just so afraid of losing someone that I was close to...
ahh.. all right, so. tell me some of the things you like."I. Love. Music. *sigh* Saying that it's my only true passion is a bit of an understatement. It's my LIFE. I live and die for it. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty decent pianist/composer/lyricist...and even though I am reluctant to admit it, singer. I'd like to call my self a vegetarian
and what about dislikes?"
do you have any dirty little secrets you wanna share?"I wish you knew how hard opening up to people is for me. All you need to know is that for almost six years I was very severely chemically dependent. I became physically addicted to weed when I was 14 and when I was 16, my dealer offered me.....heroin and I took it with barely a second thought. It only took a month for me to become physically, mentally, and emotionally dependent on it. I still have many of the track marks from it that I try to hide and other scars.....(let's just say that I was addicted to self harm for over two years.)"
ooh, that is deeeeeep. well this interview is almost done, do you have anything else you want to say?"Uhhhhh....don't do drugs and stay in school? Did the first one for sure...the second one, not so much. :)"
so heyy, my name is alexi and i'm 15 years old. i've been roleplaying for three/four-ish years roleplaying, so i think i am pretty damn good. so, my character stole the face of Isaac Slade, just thought you should know. oh, and also: did you read? thanks for reading! oh, and below is my roleplay sample. :]
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