Post by emma1 on Feb 8, 2010 21:31:58 GMT -5
NOD YOUR HEAD IF YOUR MIND'S CHANGED,
SHAKE IT, LOVE, IF SOME HOPE REMAINS.
say the word, and of course, i'll stay, roll your
eyes and i'll go away, just don't leave me guessing.[/center][/font]
One of Josh’s rituals was to go into San Diego whenever he felt stressed out. It wasn’t too far from Los Angeles, but far enough that he actually felt detached when he went there. Sometimes the hustle and bustle of a rock star life got a little too much to handle, especially with his disorder, and his doctor suggested that an escape every so often would do him some good. So here he was, in his favorite hotel in San Diego, unpacking his well used suitcase that was the perfect size for his little trips. There was a different feeling to the city this time, though. Maybe it was a little sunnier, or a little quieter, but either way, Josh felt a little on edge. Like something wasn’t right. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that he had asked Casper to come with him. Josh was trying to keep his mind off that thought, so he wouldn’t start overanalyzing like he was so famous for doing, but even just thinking of the other boy made Josh’s stomach turn into knots. He knew they were just friends...at least as far as Casper knew. The past while that they’d been hanging out, Josh had been developing a major crush on the boy.
Of course, no one was going to find this out. Especially not Casper. The only person who even knew that he was into guys, too, was Adelaine. And it was even weird for her. And he was pretty sure that Casper didn’t swing that way....well actually, Josh wasn’t sure. Casper had said he’d had girlfriends, but the topic of liking guys romantically had never really come up in conversation. So they were just friends. And that’s probably all they ever would be. It’s not like this was a romantic little vacation for two. No, no. Josh had mentioned how he escaped down here sometimes, and when Casper said that he loved San Diego, Josh invited him along. He was really starting to regret it, though. Casper hadn’t even arrived, and Josh was already about to pass out from nerves. He glanced at the clock. 12:37. Casper said that he had some stuff to do at work and would be down sometime around two, so Josh had a little bit of time to himself. Relieved, he pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his bag and snagged the hotel key off of the bedside table, planning to go down for a walk on his favorite beach, which always managed to calm him down.
He took the elevator down to the parking garage, where he smiled as he saw his Infiniti G35 in a VIP space. Normally, Josh wasn’t recognized by most adults, only teenage girls and whatnot. But the people at the hotel knew him, and he got top notch treatment. To be honest, he didn’t really mind it. It was kind of nice to be pampered sometimes. It was just tiring to deal with crazy fans. Of course, the fans were mostly after Jackson and Kylie, but Josh had a fair share of his own. And Josh never did too well in large groups of people. Sure, he could perform in front of them, but being IN a crowd? Oh no no. That was not for him. Just the thought of it scared him a little, and he shoved on his RayBan Wayfarers as he slipped into his beloved car. His favorite beach was about twenty minutes down the shore, thankfully, because the car ride would loosen him up. There was nothing better for Josh’s sanity than taking a long drive in his smooth Infiniti, that was for sure.
He pulled up to the beach and parked. It was almost empty, like always. Oddly enough, Josh’s favorite beach was a rocky one that swimming wasn’t allowed on. It was hard to walk on the shore because of sharp rocks and shells, and lots of annoying sand animals made their homes there. But for Josh, it was heaven, because it was quiet and peaceful. He locked his car and slipped the key into his pocket, shaking out his hair a little as the sun shot straight down and warmed his thin body. Sun was a wonderful medicine. Josh would never be able to survive in a constantly rainy place like Seattle or San Fransisco. It was definitely a good thing that he lived in Los Angeles. Josh was like a small plant, it thrived on sunlight and care. Josh was really much more dependent of a person than was really safe to be in this world, especially in the life of someone in the music business. But he had his wonderful friends, and they took fabulous care of him. Even if some didn’t know the details about Josh’s Manic Depression, they knew that there was just something a little..off about him, and that he needed kind words and reassurance. Sure, sometimes it bothered Josh that he was practically a charity case, but it was better than not being cared about at all, right?
He settled into a calm rhythm as his shoes pushed off against the familiar rocks. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his mind off of Casper, and that he had invited him here. God, what had he been thinking? It wasn’t like anything was going to happen between them. Josh would probably make some stupid mistake and ruin their friendship, like he was so good at doing. He bit his lip and tried to think positively. The last thing Josh needed was another reason to go and get depressed. He found a spot in the sand that wasn’t very rocky and laid down, listening to the water rushing up a few feet away. He closed his eyes, focusing on the smells and sounds, feeling his heartbeat slow, and his breathing regulate itself. There. Calm. This would be perfectly fine. And fun! It had been a while since Josh really had fun.
Fourty-five minutes passed as Josh lay in the sand, the sun warming him comfortably. He opened his eyes reluctantly when the alarm that he set for himself went off, and hoisted himself up off of the ground. He had about twenty minutes to get back to the hotel in time to meet Casper. As Josh walked back to his car, he did his best to push out the nervous butterflies that were building up again in him stomach. Back in the Infiniti, he reached the hotel, handing the keys to the valet in order to save time. He raced up to his hotel room, fixing himself up in the mirror, while trying to push out the nagging thought that Casper wouldn’t care.
TAGGED , CHARZIE AS CASPER (: WORDS , 1125 fail LYRICS , messenger bird's song by bright eyes. CREDIT , me, emma!