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Post by noah harry charlton on Jan 19, 2010 18:13:23 GMT -5
Remember when, you were my boat, and I was your sea Together we'd float, so delicately.
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[/color] Noah's mouth fell open considerably as he read the last message from Kenzie, their tour manager, on the online chat. Winter had... cried? She never cried. Ever. Noah's eyes dropped from the screen of his laptop for a moment as he considered it. He wasn't sure what he'd done whilst he was tripping entirely, but apparently he'd become terrified of his best friend and from the looks of things that had cut right through Winnie. He was truly having a fantastic week so far then. Admittedly, Noah knew it was going to be bad from the start of it since it was coming up exactly a year since he last had contact from his mother. Not only that, but he'd tripped bad consequently, freaked out his best friend, lost another of his best friend's, Garret and all in one moment had managed to lose his entire stash and get blacklisted by every single drug dealer in town. Yeah. Life was just fucking peachy right. It also didn't help that Noah was feeling the worst he had so far and he knew he didn't look much better either. He'd only ventured out of his room in the past four days to go shopping with Stella upon her insistence but even that had only last about two hours. After that, Noah had returned to his bed and continued to shake and sweat from the severe lack of cocaine in his blood. He needed his drug, it was his life, at least it was to Noah and his supposed friend had stolen it from him. Now, the news of Winter crying in a phone call to Kenzie, their band manager just made things doubly worse. His eyes watered slightly but he blinked rapidly to stop it and continued the chat as best he could, in the mean time switching on to mobile and coming to the decision that Noah was going to leave and make it easier on everyone. No-one would have to put up with his bullshit anymore, no one else would have to take matters into their own hands to try make him in their eyes 'better'.
Standing off his bed, Noah opened his closet and pulled out the suitcase from the top shelf which he used for a supposed holiday the band had been thinking of taking. Plus, when he toured. Rubbing his face and pushing his sweat moistened hair off of his fringe in habit, Noah threw open his drawers and yanked out all of his underwear, his swimwear and the usual stuff one would take away. Grabbing a couple of pairs of shoes, Noah threw them in as well before sitting down on the lid to try get it closed. There was no finesse needed her, no he simply needed to get away quickly and without any interruptions involving his best friend. Pulling it down onto the ground, Noah decided he would say his goodbye to Kenzie now for he didn't know how long he would be gone. Gone long enough perhaps to sort himself out, get back on track with his drugs (for he had become that desperate) and stop himself from bringing down his friends to his own pathetic level. Pulling up the handle on his suitcase, Noah dragged it over the clothes he decided he wasn't going to take and stopped at the door, turning to look at his room. His drawers were all pulled open and empty now, and his cloest was open and half full also. It was probably the quickest packing that Noah had ever done and it showed in his room, but by the time anyone would have noticed, he would hopefully have been long gone. Opening his door a small amount, Noah peeked out and had a quick check there was no one around. There was still out in the kitchen but no sign of Winter and so he made a break for it. Shutting his bedroom door behind him, Noah pulled his suitcase out and down to the street where he waved down a taxi after a few seconds. The joys of living on a busy street. Noah just prayed he wouldn't be recognsied. Climbing in after throwing his case in the trunk of the car, Noah sat forward a bit, "San Fran Airport, please." Yeah, it was quite a way but the closest one he could get to at this time. The news had been reporting of strikes at the others so since Noah was a bright boy, he wasn't going to be risked being delayed.
Opening the door and tipping the cab driver pretty well for getting him to the airport fast and not asking any questions about his disheveled appearance, Noah pulled his suitcase to the information desk. "What's the next available flight?" Noah licked his lips and his fingers tapped on the top of the desk in anxiety. The woman stuttered for a moment and started shaking her head but before words could be formed, Noah said again, "What's the next fucking available flight?" He looked at her with desperation in his eyes which seemed to be transmitted pretty well. "We have one seat to Rio, Brazil..." She didn't even have chance to finish, "I'll take it. Please." She nodded and worked quickly to print off his ticket after Noah handed over his credit card. Licking his lips he thanked her after eventually he was able to go check in. Noah waited in the queue and blatantly ignored the looks he was getting from some of the teenagers and their parents around him. Pulling his hat down a bit more, his deep eyes were framed luckily by his long choppy hair. At least this way he couldn't hurt any more people. Finally getting to the front desk, Noah handed over his passport and ticket, watching his suitcase get measured. Fuck, he didn't know what was in there. Clothes. Nothing else. Right now, it made him feel like it summed up his life. Limited family, friends who he made cry and music that people gave more care about the personalities in the band then the heartfelt lyrics that came from his mind. Turning, Noah started to walk through toward the section with the airport security. To Noah the only thing he could do to save himself right now was to escape... get away from everything. No one should have the business of dealing with the fucked up New Jersey nineteen year old kid that was way out of his league and depth. No-one needed to know he was leaving. No-one needed to care.
[/size] ------------------- I wish that could change, but it can't, and i'll say your name and in the same breath, i say something that i'll grow to regret. [/font] lyrics are by You Me At Six - Fireworks <3 tag for Shmey <3 Love you.[/center][/size][/color]
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Post by kenzie renee zimmerman on Jan 20, 2010 15:00:47 GMT -5
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Kenzie sat longways on her couch in her apartment. Her legs were spread out over the couch coushins and her laptop was in her lap. A bottle of wine rested on the floor within arms reach. She was relaxing today. She had had a long day yesterday. She had to call and cancel multiple appointments and meetings and rehearsals for the band that were scheduled for next week. The rehearsals weren't a big deal. No one asked questions. However, the press interviews didn't like the fact that Winter Pursuit would not be showing up. They pressed the issue, knowing that something was up. Of course something was going on. Something big was going on. Noah had really over done it with his cocaine and had an extremely bad trip. But she would not tell the press that. So, thinking on her feet, she told them that Winter had gotten a very bad flu virus and since Noah lived with her, he had gotten it to. Also, since the band spent a lot of time together, they were starting to get sick as well. The press still weren't happy, but none of them wanted to get whatever the band supposedly had.
Taking a sip of wine, Kenzie chatted on the online chat with Noah. She smacked herself when she accidentaly let it slip that Winter had cried. She honestly was not supposed to tell him that. Winter had called Kenz completely a mess. She told her the whole story of how Noah had a bad trip and thought someone was in the house. Apparently he had come running to Winter, freaked about and thought something was going to kill him. Then after Winter got him calmed down slightly, he looked at her terrified and refused to let her come near him until he finally calmed down. Not to mention Win found a letter from Noah's mom that was extremely hateful and he hadn't ever mentioned it to his best friend. Winter was extremely upset about it. Kenz knew how close they were. Winter came to Kenzie a lot for different things, but Kenz knew that Win went to Noah much more and vice versa. She could only imagine how it would feel if someone she were close with would not want her to come near them and be completely terrified of her. It had taken her a good fifteen minutes to calm Winter down enough to understand what she was saying. Kenzie listened and gave the best advice she could, but she could only think about what had happened with her mother's last horrible trip..
Kenzie looked at the computer screen a bit confused with Noah's signing off. He told her to be good, and thanked her. She shrugged it off and told him she would talk to him tomorrow. She was definitely going to support him and help him get clean. Picking up her laptop and swinging her legs off the couch, she made her way to her kitchen. She opened her fridge and wrinkled her nose at the fact that she really needed to go get groceries. She sighed and pulled out her last bagel and popped it into the toaster. She went back to her fridge and got the cream cheese. She would go grocery shopping tonight. She needed to get more wine anyway. She was on a wine kick anymore. All of it went down like water, but for some reason she just wanted wine. Her toaster popped and her phone rang at the same time. She quickly took the toasted bagels out of the toaster and through them on a paper plate before finding her phone. She looked at the screen. It was Winter. She needed to call her anyway. Noah had asked Kenzie to tell Win he was sorry. She thought he should do it himself, but he begged her to do it. "Hey Win, what's up?" Kenz answered the phone. For the second time there was a frantic Winter. "Kenzie.. Noah's gone." Kenzie blinked a few times, not understanding. She had just been talking to him on the online chat. "What do you mean he's gone?" She asked.
"I decided to cook because he hasn't left his room in like.. four days! So i made some pizza and knocked on his door and he didn't answer. Well, I decided to just go in. And Kenz.. he's gone! Hes drawers were hanging open and completely empty.. his closet was empty.." Kenzie bit her bottom lip as she listened to Winter explain. So that's why Noah had such a strange goodbye. "Okay, Win, calm down. I'll find him. Why don't you just stay in. Have Leena come over or something." She told Winter. Winter was really worried about Noah, Kenz could tell. She didn't want her home alone worrying and getting all stressed about it. She got off the phone with the drummer and paced her kitchen for a few mintues. Noah was gone. He had said something about going away. But where would he go? He wouldn't go to just one of his friends, he wanted to actually get away. Her mind worked in a million different ways before she decided the only place he would be right now was the airport, trying to get out of here. She grabbed her keys and her phone and got in her car and drove to the closet airport in San Fransisco. Her hands were gripped on the steering wheel and she chewed on her lip anxiously as she drove.
She pulled up the airport and parked in a handicap space, not even caring. If she got a fine she would get over it. Findind Noah before he flew to who knew where was much more important right now. Entering the airport she went to the front desk, pushing her way to the front and not caring about the people she was skipping. The lady looked at her nervously. "Hi," Kenzie said sweetly. "Listen, there is someone who came in here probably not long ago by the name of Noah Charlton. I need to know where he is going." The lady looked at her, "I'm sorry I can't give you that information." Kenzie growled. She wasn't dealing with this. "Listen lady! You will tell me or things won't be pretty. I am an alcoholic who hasn't drank enough today and if you don't tell me where the kid is, things are not going to end well for you." Kenzie said as she leaned over the counter and spoke through gritted teeth. The lady blinked a few times before turning to the computer and typing something in. Without even looking at her, the woman spoke, "Rio, Brazil. Gate E 20." Kenz smiled and thanked her before pushing her way out of the line and making her way toward the gate. The only problem she would have was getting through security and she hoped he hadn't made it that far yet.
She looked around as she went, hoping to spot him. She sighed in frustration as a hundred different faces blurred together. She was ready to yell out his name but too many people would turn and look because, well, he was famous. However, luck hit her and some teenage girl was basically drooling and on the phone with her friend, saying how she was so close to Noah from Winter Pursuit but she was too nervous to go up to him. Kenzie followed the girls eyes to see Noah with a hat on, trying to hide himself. She walked over to him, once again pushing through the line. She stood beside him, but didn't look over to him, simply looked ahead of her. "You know. I heard in Brazil the girl's don't shave. That's just nasty." She said before her eyes glanced over to him. She was going to talk him into not leaving and going back to town with her.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ word count :;: 1319 tags :;: leigh baby! muse :;: not bad! notes :;: sorry i rambled! hah credits :;: A ROCKET TO THE ELLE @ caution 2.0 steal and she will take her rocket and stuff it in your... mouth. Yes, your mouth. =D Do not remove any credit, including the image at the end. Lyrics belong to Escape the Fate.
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Post by noah harry charlton on Jan 20, 2010 16:45:07 GMT -5
Remember when, you were my boat, and I was your sea Together we'd float, so delicately.
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[/color] Noah sighed and took his beanie cap off before pushing his fringe across his forehead and replacing his hat to keep his hair in place. The one good thing about having longish hair, at least for a boy, was that it could cover his face pretty easily. Unfortunately for Noah, however, his hair was as famous as he was. The moment on twitter when it kind of came out that Garret had cut his hair had created mayhem on his direct messages, so much so that he hadn't dared go back onto the site in case it screamed at him to reply to the plenty of negative comments. Noah didn't get the fascination though... at the time of them being signed he had just been a proper student boy and therefore way too lazy to go get it cut. Instead, Noah had just let it grow a bit. Now, apparently it was some type of sensation across the fans and the management staff at the label. Still, Noah was hardly one to do as he was told so he'd cut it anyway with the help of... well... he guessed ex-friend's. He hadn't counted on them both being high at the time of it happening though. He pulled the hat quite far down again, his dark eyes hidden by his bangs and hopefully the shadow that was cast by the cap. He looked a mess, his eyes bloodshot and his face pale white but that was what happened when one was withdrawing. Noah had not, not in four years, gone this long with some sort of substance and ironically, he felt like that was what was killing him. Sweat was gathering under his hat but he didn't care. He'd rather be sweaty then noticed and have a fan girly moment with some teenage girl who wanted to do illegal stuff with him. Trust, it had been asked before.
Scratching his shoulder, Noah gripped his blue passport in a firm grip, his boarding ticket slotted inside. This was the part of airports he hated. In the past, it had been a killer just to go abroad because he had to find elaborate ways to hide his cocaine or risk getting nicked by the cops. It had happened once though, even though Noah hadn't even had any of the drug on him at the time. The dog had just smelt it on his clothes. Pleading innocent and since the cop could find zero substance on his actual body, they had no choice but to let him go. In one way, he guessed he was grateful he didn't have any on him now. Only slightly though. Chewing his lip, Noah continued walking to his gate. E 20. He didn't care that he wasn't going first class or whatever, the teenager was just happy to leave the country and sort his own freaking head out. Noah's eyes were centred on the ground but he pulled himself backwards as he almost smacked right into someone. Lifting his eyes, Noah's heart fell into his stomach a bit. So much for being unnoticed. A young girl, probably about 14, clutched a poster to her chest that Noah recognised on one of the Winter Pursuit band t-shirts he'd helped designed. She gaped at him for a moment, not that he blamed her, he was a state but nevertheless, he tried to give her an honest smile. "Hey there." Normally, Noah would love the fact that her face seemed to melt as he spoke to her, but not now. Truthfully, he just wanted to get on the plane. "Can I get a hug and a picture." Noah let out a nervous laugh. Why would she want a hug with this? A shivering, cold, wrapped up piece of shit? Licking his lips a little, Noah nodded and wrapped his arms around her and signed her poster with a big smiley face. Shame. "Listen, I've gotta catch a flight." Noah felt horrible for leaving what was probably one of their most passionate fans. Well, he could guess. Nodding, Noah pulled out his blackberry and pulling out his sim card from within, the singer handed it over to the girl. Extravagant. But he didn't want it any more. He needed to be unreachable, he wanted to be fine. "Here. Have this. I don't need it." She burst out crying and clutched the blackberry like it was her life. "... I'll see you at a show... soon." The last word kind of fell flat a little, he didn't know when but he smiled nonetheless at how she nodded eagerly and seemed to forget that he had ignored the picture request. "Bye! He tried his best to put in some motion into his voice and waved a little before slipping past her and standing to the queue of the security. The worst part. Hopefully it could be done without the aid of some more fans.
Pulling his hat down again, Noah shifted on his feet and sighed when the queue stopped dead still, someone creating mayhem up front that had caused a standstill. Scratching his chin that had a little bit of facial hair on (hey, he was still pretty young), Noah took one of his earphones and put it in his right ear, letting the slow music of Tom Petty, his favourite musician, fill his judging mind. Scratching his nose, Noah let out another small sigh. He was exhausted. He was tired from everything. On the other hand, he'd come up with some pretty awesome songs, most that fit with the generic Winter Pursuit style... but others. Some that meant more to him. He'd written one on his mind practically on the way to the airport in the taxi... 'free fallin'. It was an acoustic that would do even Mason, Savannah and Caleb proud. Chewing his lip, Noah frowned at a female voice beside his ear. Turning to look at whoever it was, his shoulders fell a little. Kenzie. How had she found him? She would have stopped him before this point if she'd spotted him. "What... like at all?" Noah was hooked for a moment. That was disgusting as his mind thought over it. Lifting his head a little, Noah's eyes could be seen under the cap and just how haggard he looked. "No... wait." Pouting and huffing, Noah faced forward again, his arms crossing against his chest. He had way too much trust in Kenzie. "Hmph. Leave me alone, Kenzie. I don't wanna see anyone right now." Or for a while. A long while. Truthfully, he hadn't thought it through too well. He had no return flight, now he had no phone. And yet, young Noah couldn't find himself caring. He continued to walk forward with the crowd a few more paces, hoping Kenzie would just be her normal self and let him get on with his life, it wasn't like what he was doing would greatly affect his work. He wouldn't be gone for that long... just long enough. "If you're so fucking worried about the music or whatever," for Noah had trouble wondering why anyone would try and stop him leaving at the moment, "I emailed you two news demo's. Consequence and another that I haven't named yet." His first outburst caused a few people in the crowd to look at him at tut but he couldn't give a damn right now. "Oh, screw you." Noah said, none too kindly to the couple in front. He was not in a good mood and certainly was not in the right frame of mind to be messed around with.
[/size] ------------------- I wish that could change, but it can't, and i'll say your name and in the same breath, i say something that i'll grow to regret. [/font] lyrics are by You Me At Six - Fireworks <3 tag for Shmey <3 Love you.[/center][/size][/color]
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Post by kenzie renee zimmerman on Jan 26, 2010 0:46:01 GMT -5
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Kenzie got the call from Winter and she was out the door. The girl sounded like she was ready to cry again so Kenz suggested having someone come over. She would have sent a text to someone and told them to go keep Winter company, but Kenz was in too much of a hurry that driving while texting was more than likely not a good idea. Parking her car and entering the airpot, she went to the front desk. The lady didn't seem like she wanted to be very helpful today and Kenz was not in the mood to deal with it. She was probably going to get security called on her the way she spoke to the woman at the front desk. It didn't matter as long as she got to Noah first. Maybe security would drag them both out simply because he was with her. She basically growled at the woman and told her she would tell her where Noah was or Kenzie was going to cause a scene. No one wanted a scene in an airport. That was for sure. The lady finally gave in, telling Kenz where she would find the singer. In return, Kenz smiled sweetly as if she had never threatened to make this into a larger ordeal and thanked her before moving on her way to the gate where she would find Noah.
She walked with a purpose quickly as she searched for gate E 20. Why the hell Noah wanted to go to Brazil was beyond her. She knew he had said something about getting away, but Brazil? She thought maybe he needed a weekend trip to the country or something. Something away from the hustle and bustle from the big city and all the people in it. Not something that was a million miles away. Where would he even stay once he got there? If she didn't get to him in time she was going to have to buy a ticket herself and go after him. It was something she didn't want to do, but she would if she had to. She wasn't about to let a 19 year old boy travel across the world on his own. Not to mention the rest of the band would probably flip out as well and want to go looking for him which she also couldn't have. This could be one big mess if she didn't get to him in time. She stood on her tip toes here and there to look through crowds as she walked. There were too many people here and this was proving to be harder than she thought. Making her way to a security check point, she knew that if she didn't find him here, she wouldn't be able to. This was pretty much as far as she could go.
Finding herself lucky, she heard girl's squealing and one on the phone talking nervously about seeing Noah. Running a hand through her hair she let out a sigh as she finally spotted the singer. Pushing her way through the line with little apologies or excuse mes, she stood next to Noah. She didn't look at him yet, simply kept her eyes facing forward as she commented about the girls in Brazil. She knew that would get him and it was proved true when he answered her. She looked over to him slightly before shaking her head. "Nope, not at all." She looked at him as he lifted his head up slightly. He looked like hell. It made a shiver run down her and goosebumps raise on her skin because it brought back too many memories of how her mother looked when she didn't get her fix. She frowned slightly at the thought and image not only in her mind but the one of Noah standing before her. She really needed to help him before it was too late. "Then I suggest closing your eyes because there are a lot of people around." Kenzie looked around a bit and noticed a lot of younger girls staring at Noah with drool hanging off their lips. "And a lot of them want to see you."
She turned to look at him once more as he began speaking again, saying that she was worried about the music but he had sent her songs he worked on. Her eyes stayed on him dispite people turning to look at the two. She placed an arm around his shoulder and turned him around as he spoke out to the strangers in line. Kenz led him out of the line, "Alright, let's go." She directed him to a small seating area and sat down. She couldn't have him outbursting and drawing too much attention to himself. It would be much harder to speak with him about this with a hundred screaming fans all over him once they realized who he was. She bit her lip as she turned her body toward him so she could speak directly to him. "Listen Noah. This isn't about the music." Her voice was softer and held obvious care in it. Something Noah probably wasn't used to as she was always on him about doing interviews and getting off the drugs. "This is about you. A lot of people are worried about you right now. Winter, Garret, Libby, myself." Kenzie ran a hand through her hair once more. "You look like hell, Noah, and I gotta say, it scares the shit out of me. It really does."
She sighed. She really did care about Noah. He was like a little brother to her. She was constantly on the lookout for him and well, everyone else for that matter too. "It scares me because I know what drugs can do to someone. I've seen it first hand. I've been that person that Winter was the other night. The scared one who has no idea what is going on. I've been that person who was almost killed because my drugged out mother came in and tried to smother me before taking her own life." She stopped short, her voice cracking as she felt her eyes water. She couldn't believe she had just let that slip out. She had never talked to anyone outside of her brother's and her father about what happened. And she honestly barely talked to them about it. She kept it hidden and repressed because she hated thinking about it, hated having to relive it. But being so worried for Noah had brought it right out. She didn't want to lose another loved one in her life. She didn't want to get a call that Noah had hung himself or shot himself or something because he was all drugged up and fucked out of his mind. She couldn't handle that. She looked away from him, blinking her blue eyes slowly and swallowing hard. "I need a drink.." She muttered.
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ word count :;: 1144 tags :;: leigh baby! muse :;: not bad! notes :;: hope you don't mind that i kind of powerplayed a little >.< and i hope its okay! credits :;: A ROCKET TO THE ELLE @ caution 2.0 steal and she will take her rocket and stuff it in your... mouth. Yes, your mouth. =D Do not remove any credit, including the image at the end. Lyrics belong to Escape the Fate.
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Post by noah harry charlton on Jan 26, 2010 14:59:23 GMT -5
Remember when, you were my boat, and I was your sea Together we'd float, so delicately.
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[/color] "Then I suggest closing your eyes because there are a lot of people around." Noah's gaze switched a bit and peeked out from beneath his beanie cap to look at what Kenzie was talking about and a couple of teenage girls holding camera's or talking animatedly with their friends or parents. As a defensive mode, Noah's shoulders hunched slightly in on himself, he just wish he didn't need all the attention of him. Things had happened so fast with the band... so much faster then what he'd been prepared for. Sure, they were good enough but emotionally, weren't they all just a big wreck? He'd gotten rid of his phone so he didn't have to talk to anyone until he was ready... until he felt like he could open up. He knew he wasn't the most reliable person, nor did he often care about what other people were doing too much, but he wasn't a bastard. Just confident. Surely, he had to give off that appearance? He was the front man. If he fucked up then no-one would like their band and everything his best friends had worked for would be ruined... all because he didn't make the cut. Noah couldn't do that. He needed that pressure off his mind gone and there was no way that he could do that wrapped up in the label's bubble where he would be constantly reminded of how he screwed up. Noah might have not been the easiest to control, but he did do everything that was required of him. Despite his grumblings, the singer would still turn up for press even though he hated them and he would always focus on writing new music... no matter how personal it was for him. He'd answered countless questions about how he'd created stories and situations to make songs out of... his fantastic imagination. It had taken years of pure face lying about where he got his inspiration with the truth being it came from his own experiences, not some fucked up story like they thought. No, Noah gave off the happiest kid in the world vibe. Only those closest knew just how tormented inside he was.
Telling the people in front of him to effectively "piss off" clearly didn't sit with them and they started to turn around properly to answer him, although Noah felt himself being directed away to sit down where it was a little less busy. Resting on his elbows that were on his knees, Noah breathed out and chewed his lip. Upon Kenzie telling him to listen, Noah tilted his head and lifted his eyes to look up at his manager from his slouched forward position. His cap was just high enough for his bloodshot eyes to be seen underneath and he looked at her to show that he was actually listening. 'A lot of people are worried about you right now.' There was that, again. People being worried about him. People shouldn't be worried for a nineteen year old in Noah's eyes. He was an adult. He should be seen as one. People shouldn't be bothered with a piece of shit like himself. Other people had far greater issues in the world, his were miniscule in comparison. At least, they should be to everyone else. To Noah it was the whole world, his whole life. He blinked a couple of times before his gaze dropped a little in thought. Why was everyone so bothered what he did? If his own mother couldn't care... Noah's head angled down to stare directly at the floor. His brain was working over time as Kenzie continued speaking, the words sticking in his mind and making him feel even worse. Noah's whole life had consisted of him trying to match people's expectations... his father's in persevering with his work which he ruined by joining a band, his mothers hope of his staying devoutly religious, ruined and put to shame by his drugs and sexual behaviour. Even as a front man, Noah still felt like the songs he wrote were not right... not what he wanted to say. There was so many things the singer wanted to put into the world... more then just singing about falling in love. He wanted a real emotion. Not a corny one he had trouble understanding properly. People had expectations of him even as a friend... even with that he'd managed to screw up by making his bestest friend in the world, Winter, cry her eyes out to someone else about him.
And then there was the drugs. The addiction of cocaine that had begun sophomore year of high school and had never really ended. It had gone on for so long, Noah honestly had no idea what his own personality was, what he longed for in life past getting someone who could give him more drugs. There had been plans for the genius boy Noah to go into medicine... make his father proud and become rich and successful whilst at the same time, holding true to his belief in that he was saving people for the good of humanity. Noah shut his eyes for a minute or so as Kenzie made her drastic admission. It explained so much about why she was on his case about the whole drugs business. Another person he'd let down. This time on a way more personal level. Noah let the silence hang as he honestly didn't know what to say. He'd never felt so down in his life. Kenzie, one of his closest friends had practically declared that him being on drugs was making her remember past horrific and tragic events, that he looked like shit, he knew Winter was upset with him since he hadn't spoken to her for days, he'd lost one of his good friends Garret based on a cub scout invasion of his home, he was withdrawing on a record level and... it was a year almost to the day from when he last spoke to his own mother. His mother, who was still alive and very well was choosing not to speak to him when others, like Kenzie, no longer had that option. Pushing his fingers against his eyes for a moment, Noah was deadly still and his ears seemed numb to any sound. That was when Noah started to cry. His shoulders shook repeatedly as he sobbed hard into his palms... his crying almost silent except for the rushes of breath that sounded against his hands. What had he done to deserve such a shitty week? It had even gotten to the point when the ever happy Noah was crying in an airport with a ticket sitting in his pocket on a direct flight to Brazil. What had happened? "I can't do this any more..." And he meant it. Every last bit of it. He couldn't hurt more people. Being around was hurting people. But being gone would do the same thing. The extremity of the situation had actually reached breaking point within the singer.
Noah sat and sobbed into his hands for what was close to ten minutes before feet came into his blurred vision beside him. He could tell straight away that they were those of a fan and if anything that would make him even worse. He suddenly stood up and ignored the fan, forgetting his bag and coat and everything in favour of heading to the fire exit and bursting it open to a balcony where he had seen people smoking before. It was empty luckily but Noah burst outside, his red eyes still streaming with tears before he kicked the brick wall with some force. He was constantly under scrutiny, either by stupid journalists or fucking fans. He was just a poster boy... not a human being. Not someone capable of feeling over powered... too emotional. Punching the wall, Noah screamed out "Fuck!" before turning around and sliding down the wall. Grabbing his hat on top of his head, he threw it across the way toward the balcony edge and rested his head back against the brick wall. It was becoming too fucking much. What was he supposed to do? Write music that could change the world? How was he supposed to do that exactly? People expected too much of a shit like himself... looked up to someone who was nothing in the long run expect a withdrawing New Jersey kid with only one parent willing to exchange small talk with him. He had friends like Kenzie who had hidden secrets like about her mother that people couldn't even tell him... hell, Kenzie hadn't been even supposed to tell him how much he'd upset Winter. Was he really that unresponsive? Exactly what was right with him? The list was pretty short right to now to Noah and was it even worth it. Who was he? Hell, if he knew. His barrier had been formed since he was fifteen... four years of being a nobody... someone that doesn't have any one personality suited to his body. Even his mind was confused on what to do.
[/size] ------------------- I wish that could change, but it can't, and i'll say your name and in the same breath, i say something that i'll grow to regret. [/font] lyrics are by You Me At Six - Fireworks <3 tag for Shmey Holy Crap :/[/center][/size][/color]
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Post by kenzie renee zimmerman on Feb 1, 2010 18:53:59 GMT -5
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The crowded airport did little for the current situation at hand. As much as Noah tried to conceal himself, he was recognized. He may not have appreciated it, but Kenzie was thankful simply for the fact that she had found him with little problem. Now she wished just as much as him that people around didn't know who he was. He looked like hell. It made her sick to her stomach with worry. She wished she didn't have to watch a friend go through this. That was the main thing. The other thing was they didn't need all the fans speading word that he was here and taking pictures. The press would get word and then wonder why he wasn't in bed sick with the flu as she had told them. Rumors would circulate. She could only imagine what they would consist of especially if she was known to be with him at the airport as well. Noah didn't need all that bull shit. Especially not now. She was sure he had too much on his mind as it was. The press would only add stress which would sure enough only lead to him using more. It was a bad chain of events that they couldn't let happen. So when Noah started telling people around them to basically fuck off, Kenzie took it into her own hands to guide him away from the crowded security check full of fans and strangers.
Kenzie guided Noah to a small sitting area and sat down beside him. She obviously cared about Noah. She had taken a somewhat protective role over him and all the band members for that matter since she had become their manager. She looked out for them and even though she could be a tough ass, she still had a heart. She had been there for Winter on the phone when she had called her crying. It made Kenzie's heart sink to hear the drummer cry as it was a first for her. Now she was here for Noah. She knew he wouldn't want to get off drugs, but maybe they could still talk him into it. He really needed to get clean. The other night was a prime example of why. She told him everyone was worried about him because they truly were. She could see it in people's faces when Noah was brought up, but very few asked her about it because they knew she would tell them what he was going through was no one's business. In truth, the only reason she really knew was because Winter had told her. Otherwise, she probably would only know bits and pieces she heard from other people. She went on to tell him she knew what drugs could do. Because, well, she honestly did. She had been raised in an enviroment that constantly had one drug or another being used. Some how she let her past slip out of her mouth. Her jaw hung open only slightly as she looked away from Noah and bit back tears of her own.
How the hell had she let that slip? She had spent years keeping it hidden away. She had spent hours upon hours making up stories of how her mother died and letting herself believe those ones rather than the truth. It had simply been easier that way. There were times when she really did believe her made up stories so much that it made her cry thinking about it. She would forget about the truth completely until something sparked the memory of it. Then she would get upset, drink even more and work on some new story in her mind to cover it all up again. It was a process she had done a million times at least. She had never told anyone any of the stories let alone the real thing. She wasn't even sure if people who knew her at the label knew her mother had passed. No one asked so it was never talked about. Once again, it was much better that way. Hearing Noah take in a sharp breath she looked back to him to see him with his head in his hands. He was crying. Kenzie blinked a couple times in disbelief. She wasn't even sure what to say or do for a moment because she never expected this at all. People who she had never even heard about crying before seemed to be doing that a lot lately. First Winter and now Noah. She didn't even know how to handle it.
Just as Kenzie was about to put a comforting arm around Noah, he got up and stormed off. Her eyes followed him before they landed on some obvious fans standing frozen in their spot, mouths hanging open. "Girls, if I promise you tickets or a signed cd or something, can you stay here and watch this stuff?" They nodded without hesitation and she hurried off after Noah. She had done it for two reasons. One so no one would steal Noah's things. And two because she was sure Noah didn't want the girls following him and seeing him break down. They would stand there because they were promised tickets and stuff. Hearing Noah swear, her eyes found him and watched him slide down the wall on the balcony. She went to him and sat beside the singer before wrapping her arms around him softly and pulling him into a hug. She rubbed his shoulder slightly before letting go and unwrapping her arm from around him. She chewed on her bottom lip slightly for a minute. "I'm not saying you have to.. but I think you should come home and not get on that plane." Her blue eyes found his red teary ones, "You may not think so, but people want you there. Just because you aren't going to be doing what you used to, doesn't mean you're going to lose anyone as a friend. I think right about now we all just want you to be clean and healthy. The drug doesn't make you who you are. It doesn't rull your life unless you let it.."
♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ word count :;: 1020 tags :;: leigh baby! muse :;: not bad! notes :;: its kinda suckish. i am sorry lovely! credits :;: A ROCKET TO THE ELLE @ caution 2.0 steal and she will take her rocket and stuff it in your... mouth. Yes, your mouth. =D Do not remove any credit, including the image at the end. Lyrics belong to Escape the Fate.
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