Post by mason xander knight on Mar 13, 2010 11:01:14 GMT -5
IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS THIS BREATHTAKING?
you're smart and you're willing ,
`` M Y G O D T H I S I S K I L L I N G M E ,,[/font][/center]
[/b] he was, actually. they were just about to auction off the main item, and the suspense was practically killing him.. or maybe his recent stance as a celibate was killing him as savannah was right in his line of sight. he wriggled uncomfortably on the sofa, trying to look away, but not quite being able to. 'savannah,' he said finally, sighing slightly as he thought of how to word his next sentence in a way in which it wouldn't piss his wife off. 'look...i know you want a baby...but i don't, not yet, and i really wish you'd respect that i don't want to just jump into fatherhood, because...' [/b]well, why didn't he want to become a father? all the reasons that had once been clear in his head had suddenly vanished, and all he could think of to say was, 'i'm not ready to start a proper family with you yet. i mean, i love you more than anyone else in the world, but i'm only nineteen, and so are you. i know.. other people have babies this young, but i'm not ready, even if you are...'[/b]the past few weeks.. mason didn't know how to describe them as anything but a nightmare, to be honest, only it didn't look like he was going to wake up from it anytime soon. savannah wanted a baby. a real life baby. not a puppy, or a kitten, nooo, she had to go the full length and ask if they could have children! jesus christ, he was nineteen, he shouldn't be having children.. and yeah, he was talking about himself personally, because, caleb? was the same age, albeit a few months older.. and caleb was going to be an amazing father, mason was sure of it. mason was great at babysitting, yeah, he knew that. but he just wasn't mature enough to look after a real, live child, who required attention every second of the day; who screamed and cried throughout the night; and who they'd have to take on tour with them, or just not do the tour completely. and hey, call mason selfish, but he'd been waiting to go on our his whole fucking life, and he didn't want a baby to intrude on what could possibly be the greatest moment in his life. he just wasn't ready for a baby, he couldn't even legally drink yet! he was at that part in his life when all he wanted to do was make music, hang out with his wife and his best mate, go to parties and chill.. he didn't want to be raising a child, and have his entire future wiped clean with a slate, leaving only the horrifying path of fatherhood to travel downwards. sure, kelley had managed it, caleb and winter would manage it.. but it was doubtful he would. he was good at lot of things, but being responsible and mature was not one of those things, and it most likely never would be. he couldn't for the life of him take things seriously. he couldn't cook, or clean, and was happy to live like a slob with clothes strewn all over his floor, and his bed never made. that just wasn't the right environment to bring a kid up in. he had all these amazingly legitimate excuses planned out in his head, but whenever savannah brought up the subject of babies, ever so subtly, not one of them would spring to mind, only 'no.'
only she didn't seem to understand this, he pondered sullenly as he rolled over in the bed, trying to get comfortable. he wasn't sure exactly why she didn't seem to understand, but she didn't, and that was it. why did she want kids anyway? was it just because winter and caleb were having a baby, and she wanted to be part of it? he wasn't sure, to tell you the truth, only she wasn't giving up anytime soon on pestering him to try and have a baby. it was so difficult between them at the moment - they weren't even having sex, for god's sake, because savannah refused to either use the condoms, or go on the pill, and mason seriously did not just want to take the chance of somehow, by accident, getting savannah pregnant. it wasn't just selfishness that made him do this. he didn't want to get savannah pregnant because he knew he'd be no help, not at the moment anyway, and that wouldn't be fair on her, would it? no. he didn't tell her this though, because he knew she'd just tell him he'd be an amazing father, but he'd never find out until he tried, and he didn't want the poor kid he might end up fathering to be some sort of experiment to see if he could be an okay dad. he shifted in the bunk. ugh, he was never going to get back to sleep, he knew it, no matter how tired he was. sure, they had stopped off for the night in a hotel room, and were in actual beds... but there were three single beds, and not a double like had been ordered. mason didn't mind too much; the beds were bigger than the bunks he had just gotten used to sleeping in, but they were barely big enough for one person, so even if mason did give in and have sex with savannah on the spur of the moment, they'd be doing it on the floor. or the couch. the thought of that wasn't very desirable at the moment, but maybe in the heat of the moment neither of them would notice... there was no point thinking about it anyway. he wasn't going to have sex with savannah unless his sperm was well protected, and that was it.
he sat up and rolled out of the bunk, ducking his head as if to avoid the bunk that was usually above him - he was so used to having to tilt his head down to actually get out of the bunks. after the first couple of weeks on tour, mason had learnt that, hey, there was a bunk above him, and if he tried to sit up properly, he'd smack his head on the bottom of the top bunk, and it would really hurt. he was pretty sure this was the first time his head hadn't come into contact with the bunk since they'd started touring though, to be honest, and that was kind of sad seeing as there was no bunk to hit his head against. in the mornings, he had more pressing concerns than his head to worry about, like getting into the shower before the others in case the hot water ran out, or to get dressed really quickly because he had slept in too late, and was due at a sound check for their show tonight in about five minutes. he straightened up once realizing that he wasn't actually in the tour bus, stretching as his muscles protested, before stifling a yawn with his hand and walking into the main part of the hotel room, where the couch and the shitty tv and the kitchen area - which consisted of a fridge, a couple of cabinets, a microwave and a counter - were placed. he sprawled out onto the couch, groaning slightly as he buried his face into the nearest cushion. it was far too early to be awake, and all he wanted to do was curl up on the couch and go back to sleep, but no matter how tired he was, he knew he wouldn't be able to. sure the hotel room wasn't moving, which made it slightly easier, but it still wasn't enough to make him drop off on the couch, and after a few minutes of just laying on the couch, willing himself to sleep, mason decided food was probably more important, and stood up quickly, feeling light headed for a second, before walking over to the kitchen area. he could hear either savannah or caleb stirring in their bed in adjoining rooms to his own, but although it was a nice thought to just wait until they were up fully before asking them to cook something, mason really was hungry, so he began rooting through the cupboards for something to eat.
he couldn't cook unlike the other two, so cereal would have to do, he decided, pulling out a box of frosties and hunting for the milk and a bowl as he set the box down on the counter. once he'd found everything he needed, and prepared the meal beautifully ( hah, no,) he slumped back down on the couch, beginning to eat as he switched the television on. there was nothing all that interesting on, but he supposed it would really have to do - it was better than watching nothing at all, right? he heard the creak of floorboards as one of his two band mates got up out of the room and walked through into the main part where all three bedrooms led onto, and turned his head slightly to greet whoever it was had woken up. only the greeting kind of stuck in his mouth as he caught sight of savannah in some skimpy black underwear that barely covered anything at all. jesus christ. the first thought that crossed mason's mind was, wow, he needed to get laid and fast, and the second thought was that he hoped caleb was in a nice, deep sleep right now. of course, then he kind of figured out what she was trying to do. wow, the girl played dirty. 'sav...' he frowned at her, as if trying to say i know what you're up to without speaking to her, because, seriously? was she trying to kill him or something? his self control wasn't that good! standing up again, he put his now empty bowl into the sink, along with the spoon, and pondered washing up for a second, before deciding it was far too early, and he could probably do that later. slumping back down on the sofa, and trying to get the image of savannah standing behind him in nothing but a little bra that looked way too small to hold in all of savannah's junk, and a lacy...thong? that didn't cover anything at all, out of his head; it was practically useless.
and then savannah sat beside him and sighed and said something about how she didn't seem to be sexy enough. mason might be a little annoyed at her, but he still didn't want her to go on thinking that, so he said quietly, looking at the tv in case he cracked, 'you are sexy, but this is my favourite show. i mean, c'mon. who doesn't love antiques, and old ladies? and this show puts them both together! old ladies.. yanno ,selling antiques...hooray?' when savannah didn't answer, he relaxed back into the couch, hoping she had finally given up and was going back to change into something that mason would happily allow caleb to see, when suddenly savannah walked right in front of the television and... turned it off. yeah, it pretty much looked like she wasn't giving up as quickly and quietly as mason had hoped. he didn't want to argue with her as he loved the girl and had no problem admitting this.. but he might have to. 'savvieee,' he whined a little, folding his arms and pouting slightly. 'turn it back on please? i'm missing the best bit!'
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tag sammie <333 // savannah <3 word count 1921 :] listening to p!atd:3 credit justlikefalling @ CAUTION 2.0 notes it's alright? :] lyrics take me with you , SECONDHAND SERENADE