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Post by kylie addison taylor on Mar 7, 2010 17:54:32 GMT -5
"SWIM FOR THE MUSIC THAT SAVES YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT SO SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE."I SWIM FOR BRIGHTER DAYS DESPITE FOR THE ABSENCE OF SUN. I'M NOT GIVING IN. [/TT][/center] Being alone was honestly a fear for kylie. It was just she didn’t like the dark, or you know, alone time. But she hated being left alone for an extended period. She just… she really had no idea. She just hated the feeling. It might have had something to do with her dad, really. He had been constantly working ever since her parents had divorced, and since then, her phobia of being alone kind of developed. She was glad that she’d met the guys when they’d moved to los angeles, or else kylie would have driven herself crazy. But now, she felt exactly like that all over again. Sure, she still had her boys, but Jackson wasn’t necessarily a part of that at the moment. Jackson had been her first friend, and her best friend, since she had moved to los angeles. She knew that he had a life outside the band and her. But that didn’t help the feelings of jealousy that she felt whenever he forgot about her. She had no idea why either, really. Well actually, that was a lie. She knew why, but exactly why, she didn’t. she was never the type of girl to admit that she was jealous. In fact, she rarely did feel jealous. She was usually the type of girl to feel gratious for whatever was in her life then and there. But yet, here she sat on tour, fuming and jealous and other things she really was not sure of. She hated that she was mad at her best friend, but she couldn’t help it.
Touring was definitely awkward. The ride down to New Mexico had been just awkward as anything. She should have been excited, running throughout the bus and checking everything out and whatnot, maybe playing some Rock Band with the guys in the back. She’d spent a majority of the time sitting in the front of the bus, listening to her music. She felt bad for being antisocial, but honestly, she was mad as anything at the moment. Her and Jackson had planned to spend the last day in LA doing something together, and it had ended up with her sitting alone at the park, as everyone else had plans. She, personally, felt that was the last straw. She hated being stood up, even though it happened so rarely. And she hated being mad, and honestly, she was rather pissed off at Jackson, and she was pretty sure he could tell. She rarely went any kind of ride without talking. Car ride, bus ride, bike ride, roller coaster ride, whatever. This time, she kept her mouth utterly shut halfway there. Not just to Jackson, but to Dom and Khris and Josh as well. She was pretty sure that soon someone was going to bother her, and she was right when she saw Jackson sit down on the end of the couch she was sitting on in front of the bus.
Glancing up at him through her hair, she looked around; the guys were in the back, probably playing RockBand. She sighed, lowering the volume on her ipod ever so slightly. She wanted to know what Jackson wanted this time. She stared down at the GameBoy Color that she had in her lap. Gosh damn, she wished her Bulbasaur would just evolve already. Yes, she was playing Pokemon. It was better than doing nothing, she figured. She could dimly hear Jackson talking, and she glanced up at him, at the same time discretely lowering the volume on her ipod. Ha. He really wanted to know what was wrong with her today. She almost felt bad for being mad at him. He didn’t make it sound jerk like either. He asked in that cute, sweet way. Gosh, why did he have to be adorable…
“Jackson nothing is wrong, okay? I’m playing Pokemon, not thinking about how you stood me up again, yesterday.” she said, a slight snap in her tone. Sighing, she sat up, pulling her headphones out of her ears. Laying her ipod and her now forgotten pokemon game aside on the couch, she sat forward, looking at Jackson. “I’m mad, okay? I’m … tired of being left behind, okay? I’m tired of being put in the back seat …. I know she’s your girlfriend and stuff, but… . Jackson, come on.” She rambled on, looking out of the window. she didn’t really think she could look at him. She really didn’t want to have to. She didn’t really know how her face looked right now. All she could feel was her jaw hurting from not smiling. Yes, not smiling. She usually, actually, quite often, had a smile on her face. It was hard for her to go so long without smiling, or even feeling cheerful in the slightest. It was awful really.
She knew she shouldn’t have let this get in the way of them, but… she couldn’t help it. She didn’t really know what it was, she just… she was mad. She hated that Alaska got to see more of Jackson than she did. Sure, they had rehearsals and shows, but… it wasn’t the same. Kylie loved Jackson like a brother. She hated not seeing him. Honestly, even their shows weren’t even the same because of all this. They used to always be flirty on stage. They had even quite often kissed on stage. Just thinking of kissing the boy, she already felt her stomach doing a bit of a back flip…. God she couldn’t like Jackson. She honestly couldn’t. that just was not a part of the plan. Sighing, she pushed that thought out of her already cluttered head. She didn’t need that in her head. Even if maybe she did like it. Oh what was she saying? Groaning slightly, she pushed herself off the couch and stood up, going over to one of the cabinets. Grabbing a small bag of Doritos, she opened it, before reaching in and grabbing one to put into her mouth. Whenever kylie didn’t feel like talking, she ate. That, for sure, Jackson knew about her. Going back towards the couch, she sat down on the opposite end, putting about an arm’s length of a distance between them. Pulling a chip out of the bag, she grudgingly handed it towards him, not looking at him. She really didn’t think she had anything to say. She was sure she’d regret it if she really did let it all out at him.
TAGGED: charzie <33 // jackson <3 WORDS: one oh seven nine LISTENING TO: when i get home, you're so dead - mayday :3 NOTES: it sucks XD CREDIT: MADE BY KISS AND TELL ! OF CAUTION 2.0. DO NOT REMOVE D<
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Post by jackson daniel walker on Mar 11, 2010 15:54:28 GMT -5
- - - - - i remember what you wore on the first day ,you came into my life and i thought ,HEY YOU KNOW THIS COULD BE SOMETHING CAUSE EVERYTHING YOU DO jackson was so incredibly excited, he could barely contain his enthusiasm. they were going on tour! they had their own tour buses! this was one of those moments in life when you realize you've made it. they were touring.. they were going all over america... they were going to europe! and australia! and canada! and... jesus. the huge smile on his face hadn't even faltered for a second since they'd clambered on the bus. it was their bus as well...god, that was just. weird. sure, you know, he was leaving his family behind, and his apartment.. but that was a small price to pay, right? he was getting to travel around the world, to places he could only have dreamed of visiting, and playing venues that he'd only read about on the internet.. and all with his best friends. seriously, life could not get much better than this. he peered out of the window, his elbows resting on the windowsill as the bus whipped past trees and fields and lakes, well on the motorway, well on the way to their first concert that night. crap, he really couldn't wait. he couldn't even stand still, he was tapping his fingers idly against the windowsill and trying no to do something like run around like an excitable five year old. he couldn't help it.. he was just so excited. everyone was, really, jackson guessed. everyone.. everyone except kylie. he wasn't' sure what was up with her, but she'd been pretty miserable since they'd gotten on the bus.. maybe even longer than that. and he really wasn't sure why. but, he'd find out soon enough.
he was fidgeting. he didn't like staying still usually, and the only downside to being on the bus was the fact that they couldn't exactly run around much without breaking something. the bus was small and cramped and the bunks were tiny, but overall it was the most amazing thing jackson had ever seen in his life, because it was their bus, you know? sure, alaska wasn't on the bus, which bummed him out. he missed her, a lot, and they wouldn't be able to see each other as much if they were on different buses, but he supposed that wouldn't matter. he could catch up on jackson and kylie time! because, seriously, he missed his best friend. it was all his fault really, because he'd been spending so much time with alaska lately, trying to cram each other in at every possible opportunity as they knew they wouldn't be seeing each other much for a long time, and he hadn't hung out with kylie in a long while. that would change soon though. they'd go everywhere and things would be like they used to be, and kylie wouldn't be sitting there all miserable and mopey with such a sad look on her face that it broke his heart. seriously, every time he peeked at her out of the corner of his eye, she was such a heart wrenching sight his heart ached a little, and after a little while longer when she hadn't suddenly snapped into happy mode and gone off to play rock band or whatever, he decided he would have to intervene, and make her smile.
pushing himself away from the windowsill, he moved towards the couch kylie was sitting on slowly, before flopping down on the end of the sofa, giving her a slight smile, before asking 'hey kyls! what's up? you look all sad and stuff and you shouldn't be sad, really, because we're on tour and it's gonna be awesome! no, but seriously, what's up? i don't like seeing you sad..'
[/color] he let his sentence trail off as he moved closer to her on the couch. oh cool, she was playing pokemon. he love pokemon, seriously, if his childhood had a theme tune, it would be the pokemon song, no joke. he frowned as kylie looked at him before saying something, her tone kind of scary if he was going to be honest. his eyes widened as he took in what she said 'oh.. crap, i'm sorry kyls-'[/color] but before he could continue, she began to speak again. he let his gaze drop as he studied his shoes intently as she spoke. 'kyls...'[/color] he said finally in a mumble, looking up at her. why were they fighting? they'd never fought before, unless it had been some stupid play fight that had ended up with both of them laughing on the floor. even as he replied, he kept thinking just how crazy it all was, that they were finally having their first sort-of row. 'i'm so sorry, seriously. i mean....okay, i have no excuse, i'm a horrible excuse for a person,'[/color] he admitted. 'i just... i'm not going to see alaska much while we're touring. and i know i'm going to see you almost every day, which is awesome, but i wanted to make sure... i wanted to make sure me and alaska hung out a lot, because we wouldn't have time to soon...'[/color] he looked up as kylie stood up. was she just.. going to walk away? he was a little bit stunned, until he realized she was just going to the cupboards, and everything clicked into place. she always ate when she didn't want to talk. jackson knew the girl inside out, he hoped he knew her better than almost anybody else. he was sure she knew him better than anyone... even alaska, he realized, his heart thudding slightly as she sat back down and offered him a dorito. kylie knew him better than anyone else in the world,. and he was glad about that. he trusted her with his life... and he didn't' feel that way about alaska, not yet. what did that mean? he wasn't sure. what it seemed to mean was that... was that he liked kylie more than alaska.. but obviously it was in completely different ways, right? he loved kylie like a sister. they were practically each other's other half, they knew each other so well.. and they'd been through everything together. they were closer to each other than they were to khris, or dom, or josh... and it was crazy, but jackson was pretty sure he was closer to kylie than alaska. and no matter how much he told himself that he felt about them in different ways, it didn't feel like it. sure, he got almost butterflies in his stomach when eh thought of alaska, but with kylie... he wasn't sure. it hadn't used to be this way, but now he got a weird feeling everything he looked ar her that hadn't been there before, and he kind of like it, even if it was stronger than anything he had ever felt before, and threatened to overwhelm him. and the one thing he was sure of, over everything else? as the fact that he wasn't going to lose the girl sitting beside him, not for anything, because she meant more to him than anybody else in the world, and he wasn't going to let alaska come between them. and, essentially, he told her this, 'look, kylie.. you might not want to talk to me right now... but, i just want you to know, if you're listening that... that i don't want this to come between us...me and alaska... i won't let that come between us, anymore, because... i love you kylie, and i... i don't want this to ruin us? you're the most amazing person i know.. even more than alaska, yeah.'[/color] he felt kind of traitorous saying that, as if he was betraying alaska, but it was true.. somehow. 'and my life would be ten times worse without you.'[/color] he wasn't sure whether kylie was even listening now, to be honest, as she wasn't looking at him and she hadn't replied yet, but he shuffled over on the couch so they weren't on opposite sides, and awkwardly put his arms around her; he wasn't sure whether she wanted it, but he did, hah, so hopefully she wouldn't put away. that'd be the worst thing, he was sure; her pulling away from the hug. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/font] and words you say - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged kylie <3 // rini <33 words 1360(: notes sokay xD lyrics boys like girls banner me (: template KLEPTOMANIA FTW? @ caution 2.0
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Post by kylie addison taylor on Mar 13, 2010 12:06:10 GMT -5
"SWIM FOR THE MUSIC THAT SAVES YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT SO SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE."I SWIM FOR BRIGHTER DAYS DESPITE FOR THE ABSENCE OF SUN. I'M NOT GIVING IN. [/TT][/center]
Personally, she didn’t understand how Jackson could sound so damn cheerful when she sat here looking as though she could stab someone in the eye at that moment. From the minute they had gotten onto the bus and pulled out, kylie had been withdrawn from the guys, even josh, which was definitely a rarity. Even if she was completely ignoring everybody, which rarely happened on its own, she would talk to josh like it was no problem. But even now she refused to talk at all. She was sure she’d been quiet that whole ride as dom and josh were off playing Rock Band in the back of the bus. She knew Jackson was staring out the window; she had glanced at him a few times during her epic Pokemon battles. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted him to come over and talk to her, or if she should stand up and go talk to him. Neither sounded really pleasant at the moment. She made a face as she turned back to her game. She normally was never like this at all. Honestly when any of her friends had been dating anybody, she had been one of the guys, teasing them and what not. When Jackson had started dating Alaska, it had been the same way. But when she got shoved into the back seat over and over and over again, well that just did not happen. She hated sounding selfish or whatever that emotion/feeling was, but she really did. She hated being shoved aside. She wasn’t used to that feeling, and it wasn’t a feeling she wanted to get used to.
She glanced up as she felt someone else sit on the edge of the couch, but she should have known who it was. But as she glanced at Jackson’s hair, and not directly at him, she didn’t know whether to ignore him flat out or tell him how she felt. She tried turning to her game and continue, but as she lost the battle, she lost that battle with herself too. She knew she should have let it out and said it flat out as she did, but she really couldn’t help it; for the last two weeks before they had left, she had barely seen him. she had thought they deserved to spend a day or two together just being themselves before they left on tour to spend countless weeks on a touring bus. As she put her game aside and stared at him, she watched his gaze drop to the floor, and she stopped with her rant. She didn’t want him to feel bad. She just wanted him to know how she felt… she was half tempted to reach out and just hug him and say she wasn’t mad, that it didn’t matter. But could she really say that? She hated lying; it was something she wasn’t good at, and it was always painfully obvious to everyone. So she settled for sitting here, and she felt her heart drop as he started talking. She shook her head at him, though she was sure that he couldn’t see it, as his gaze hadn’t picked up off of his shoes. He was not a horrible excuse of a person. Hell if she could find her voice she would have named the multiple reasons on why he was not a horrible excuse. But she really couldn’t. she felt tempted to have him go on, but once he trailed off, she knew it wasn’t happening, and it was her turn.
Ha. Yeah right. If she spoke anymore she would have said something she would have regretted, and she wasn’t risking that. So she decided to go into her comfort zone. As she stood up to go find a bag of Doritos, she mentally sighed, wondering if she had made a good choice in opening her big mouth and being honest with him. it was a good thing to be honest, she knew that. But… she hated seeing Jackson like this. She hated being an awful person and just acting like a four year old that got left alone in the park. But that really was how she felt. Kylie hated that feeling of being alone; the last time they had said to hang to, she had ended up sitting in the park for near two and a half hours alone. Why two and a half? Because she had faith that the boy would show up. But once it had started getting dark she had figured out that he wasn’t showing, and that was pretty much when she gave up. Yes, it was childish to let this get in the way of her best friend of near four years, butt he knew as well as anyone that she didn’t like being ditched. With her father always working and going off on business trips, and her mother leaving her to go up to Canada with her new boyfriend, kylie just wasn’t the girl that liked being left alone at all. Hell whenever her dad was working late nights or were on business trips, the first person she had begged to let her stay with them was Jackson. And most of the time that had worked out.
As she sat down and offered him a Dorito, she heard him start talking again, and half of her wanted to look up at him, tell him that she was sorry for whatever she was sorry for. Being jealous? Being an idiot? Did she really have to though? She really didn’t feel as though she was. So she settled for staring at her feet, trying to think of something else and ignore what he was saying, but she couldn’t help it. ignoring the boy was honestly extremely difficult. She had been trying this whole conversation. He sounded so damn sincere about this, it made her feel like crap that she was trying to ignore him. she started to look up at him, but before she could, she felt him pull her into an awkward hug. A very big awkward hug. She stared ahead, not really responding just yet. Should she have pulled back, maybe. But she didn’t have the heart to. But she couldn’t hug him back either; what the hell kind of silent treatment was that? Not a good one. She blinked a few times as the area behind her eyes started stinging, and she prayed to God she wouldn’t cave and tell him what she wanted to say right then and there. But there really was no hiding it. rubbing at her eyes ( though she attempted to make it look like she was rubbing her cheek or another part of her face ), she stared down at her feet as she spoke, her voice cracking. So much for that pretending not to rub her eyes trick. “I know you like her… a lot. I get that. But…. I hate that…. That I … you know how I hate being pushed in the back, Jackson.” she said simply, this time glancing up at him, and doing what she thought she really wouldn’t have ever done. She pulled back from his awkward hug so that there was the tiniest bit of distance between them and she was staring up at him . she knew that might have caught him off guard; Kylie Addison Taylor was not the type of girl that refused hugs, never. “And don’t think your hugs can fix this, Jackson Daniel Walker.”
TAGGED: charzie <33 // jackson <3 WORDS: one four seven seven LISTENING TO: we are broken - paramore <3 NOTES: awe :( CREDIT: MADE BY KISS AND TELL ! OF CAUTION 2.0. DO NOT REMOVE D<
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Post by jackson daniel walker on Mar 15, 2010 15:53:31 GMT -5
- - - - - i remember what you wore on the first day ,you came into my life and i thought ,HEY YOU KNOW THIS COULD BE SOMETHING CAUSE EVERYTHING YOU DO jackson loved kylie. maybe not in the way most people used the word love, but he did. she was like a sister to him, or a twin, whatever; she was like family to him. she'd been there through everything, the band starting.. just, she'd always been there, far longer than alaska had, and it didn't seem right that she was being pushed to the side because of his girlfriend. sure, that was all his fault, but he still couldn't believe he'd forgotten about them hanging out. it wasn't that he had forgotten about her, because the girl always occupied a bit of his brain, whether he was thinking about her, or the band as a whole, or just random things that he came across that he knew she'd appreciate or laugh at. but, yeah, he'd forgotten all about... all about their meeting, and he felt horrible. he knew she would've waited for him, even after it was obvious he wasn't showing up, because she had faith in him and that broke his heart just a little bit more. it was quite pathetic, if he was going to tell the truth, but the girl evoked stronger emotions in him than anyone else ever had.
to be honest, the girl still astounded him with the things she did, and the funny feelings she gave him was just another thing to add to the list of things she managed to do when no-one else could. when he hid away from the rest of the world when all his issues caught up with him, she could make it through to him when he just blocked everyone else out. he'd been the first person her parents had allowed to stay with her when they left for long periods of time. his parents adored her, like an extended part of the family, and he wasn't sure whether he could say the same about her family's feelings for him, but he hoped that they felt the same way about him. and the fact they were in this stupid mess right now just made everything worse. they'd always been so close it was like they were attached at the hip; they barely ever left each other's side, and to look at them now, on opposite sides of the couch, looking anywhere but at each other... it was unbelievable for someone who knew both of them. it was like that old saying, 'bros before hoes,'; and sure, kylie wasn't a guy, that much was obvious... but still. it was like a rule every guy followed, and every female definitely should as well - put your friends before your girlfriend, because they've been there for you for life, and your girlfriend probably won't last forever... and despite how much jackson hoped alaska was there for a long time... he practically knew kylie was going to be there forever. or, at least, he had thought he knew that.
hearing kylie talk, his stomach lurched unpleasantly. it was obvious she was upset, and it was all his fault, he shifted uncomfortably on the couch, staring down at the worn out carpet as she spoke. he would look up into her eyes, but she'd probably just look away, and it was easier to just stare down at the floor and try to pretend he hadn't caused this entire nightmare. but, of course, it didn't last too long before she stopped speaking, and he began to speak again, shuffling over on the couch to wrap his arms around her at the same time. he loved the feel of her pressed against him, her smell - completely natural, and jackson loved it - hitting his nose as he took in a deep breath before exhaling slowly. 'i know kyls. and i'm...i'm so so-' he broke off as kylie... pulled away from him? did she... had she just pulled away from the hug? his expression crumpled slightly, more in disbelief than anything else at first, before it actually hit him. for the first time jackson could remember, kylie taylor had actually just pulled away from one of their hugs, and it hit him like a punch in the stomach. all he wanted to do was make things right between them, but it didn't seem to be that easy. but, more than anything else, he was sure that tiny little action told more than anything else, that their entire relationship was at risk, and he hated it. it made him feel so small as well - and seriously, have you looked at the kid? he wasn't exactly the tiniest person you'd seen, in height anyway, so he wasn't very accustomed to the feeling. he should probably start speaking again, but he was still kind of stunned, so he looked down again, trying to figure out what to say and trying not to let his eyes and his body show kylie how hurt he actually was. he shouldn't be hurt, he reasoned to himself, looking down at kylie's game boy as he thought. he'd caused all this mess, he probably deserved that. but still...
'your bulbasaur's evolving,' he said after a while, looking up at her for a moment, before looking away again, watching the pokemon evolve on the screen, growing bigger as it turned into an ivysaur. he seriously had no ideas what to say.. he knew what he wanted to convey; about how sorry he was; about how much he loved her and how much she meant to him; and how he wanted to make everything all right again, and how he just couldn't lose her. but it just wasn't that easy. he'd never been a master at not embarrassing himself through his words, and in awkward situations he was a bit of a social reject, because he seriously had no idea what to say, and generally tended to just hide for a while, or sit whilst the other person talked through their problems. he did want to help, really, but he just couldn't find the words to make anything better, and this was just one of those times. usually, he had no problem thinking of things to say around the girl. they could talk for hours easily without getting bored, or crossing the same subject twice. but now? now he was at a loss for words, and it was killing him. he hated not knowing what to say and he hated sitting there uselessly whilst she probably expected him to say something to make everything better. but, she probably knew he was a complete idiot when it came to sorting things out... right? or was that just him being hopeful that she'd understand that he really wanted to fix things, but just couldn't find the words he wanted to say?
'kylie...' he finally started to say, awkwardly fidgeting with a loose strand of his sleeve, tugging at it uselessly and not looking at her as he carried on speaking. 'i know... i know you're really upset at me right now, and i completely understand why. i just...... look, i don't know what to say. you have no idea how much i want to make this better; i'd give anything up to make sure you were happy again,' he said, and honestly meant every word of it. he loved making people smile, but kylie especially. she had such a beautiful smile, the world needed to see it more, and he made sure that happened. and now she wasn't smiling? well, one glance out of the window told him that even the weather had dampened to fit her mood. it was oddly fitting that it was completely chucking it down with rain... in july of all times, just this once. 'but... i can't turn back time and fix what i did..... although, yeah, i would if i was given the chance. but... i don't know. what do you want me to do, kyls? because obviously apologizing just isn't going to work to make you feel better.' he wasn't used to feeling so helpless, and so small at the same time. it was quite an odd feeling for the boy, because he'd never felt like he was clutching at loose straws; he'd never felt this desperate to fix something before. and it was such a weird feeling, and not a nice one either. he looked over at kylie again, his stomach doing some stupid small flip for no apparent reason as he did so. he wasn't sure why, to be honest. he'd never really felt it around alaska. sure, he had a couple of times, when they had first started going out.. but why was he feeling it around kylie?
and words you say - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged kylie <3 // rini <33 words 1442 :] notes i kinda like it? but aw ): lyrics boys like girls banner me (: template KLEPTOMANIA FTW? @ caution 2.0
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Post by kylie addison taylor on Mar 17, 2010 19:58:49 GMT -5
"SWIM FOR THE MUSIC THAT SAVES YOU WHEN YOU'RE NOT SO SURE YOU'LL SURVIVE." I SWIM FOR BRIGHTER DAYS DESPITE FOR THE ABSENCE OF SUN. I'M NOT GIVING IN. [/TT][/center] she knew her pulling back from the hug would have caught him off guard. Hearing his attempt at apologizing stop, she looked up at him, knowing that there was some sort of sad look in her eyes. It only got worse as she saw his face falling slightly at the realization that Kylie Addison Taylor had really pulled away from a hug. A hug from Jackson, no less. In all honesty, she had never pulled away from a hug, and especially not jack’s. most of the time it was jokingly from friends, but whenever it came to jack, she never pulled away from a hug, never ever. It was almost like a rule to her. but now it mig ht as well have been burned to the ground at this moment. Sure, she knew she was taking this all out of proportion, more than likely, but it still hurt, you know? She was probably being selfish, she couldn’t deny that. but she felt it was perfectly acceptable in a time like this. She glanced back down at the bag of Doritos in her hand, and her stomach clenched together; she couldn’t even eat them. Putting the bag aside carefully on the couch, she glanced up, not at his face but at the gameboy she had abandoned, seeing the flashing light as her bulbasaur evolved. Well that was just perfect. Nodding her head, she didn’t say anything. Instead she took a deep breath, deciding to finally glance up at him as he started talking again.
Hearing him saying that he knew she was really upset at him right then, she wanted to laugh. Upset was probably an understatement, really. She was upset when he ditched her the first time. The second time, hurt a little more. The most recent? Crushed beyond belief. Now, she was just pissed and hurt and sad at the same time, and she didn’t know it was possible to feel that all at once without her head exploding. But she really just felt sad as she heard him say that he wanted to make this better. Hearing his last sentence, she wanted to legit cry. She hated how he was being so earnest and sincere about this, and here she was being a complete baby about this and holding it against him. she knew she had reason to be, but it didn’t mean that Jackson deserved to have her acting like a complete bitch to him.
sighing lightly, she opened her mouth to talk, to say something, but she shut her big mouth as he started talking again. And there he went making her feel like a complete bitch. Ruffling up her bangs slightly, she moved forward slightly, closing the space between them in the tiniest bit. Placing an awkward hand on his shoulder to get his attention for a second, she pulled it back, her fingers playing with her hair slightly as she sat there, trying to figure out what to say. “Jackson…. I’m sorry. I’m being a complete…. A complete and utter bitch about this whole thing. And you are not a horrible person, all right? You’re one of my best friends, you can’t be horrible.” she said lightly, trying to get some humor back into the conversation, but after a few seconds she knew that wouldn’t exactly work well. Sighing, she shrugged at her lame attempt, trying again. “I get it. you like her a lot. I know I shouldn’t be….. mad or …. Whatever I am about it.” moving over a bit closer on the couch towards him, she rested her head against his shoulder, talking into his shoulder rather than up to his face now. “This is about you now, not me, all right? You have Alaska, and you’re happy. That’s all I care about. That’s all I should be caring about too. I don’t want you to be unhappy either because I’m being a jealous git.” was she really being jealous? She had to admit, she was. Was there really any other option as to what she was being? Not at all. But she wasn’t too sure on what she was jealous on anymore; if it was because she was being left behind, or if there was something more. Liking Jackson had never crossed her mind. Not when they were fifteen, not when they had started touring together, not during all those times they hung out and had sleepovers, any of that. it seemed so weird that right now there was the possibility that their friendship was going to suffer because of a bout of jealousy over Alaska. They hadn’t ever fought about anything. There were so many other things that they could have fought over in their four years as best friends, but none of them compared to this. Possibly because nothing this serious had ever come between them? She didn’t know, and in all honesty, she didn’t want this to ruin it. sure, she was mad. She hated feeling forgotten, pushed to the backseat for her bets friend’s girlfriend time after time, but he was genuinely sorry.
If there was anything she knew about Jackson, it was that when he apologized, he meant it, every word. He was probably the most sincere and honest person that she had ever met, and she loved the boy for that. pulling her head up off his shoulder, she gave him a feeble attempt at a smile before brushing her bangs again and making a face at him, trying to get whatever tension was between them to lesson. She caused this, she might as well attempt to make it better, even if she was still hurt by this. But if there was something kylie was good at, it was pushing past the problems and putting on a smile that hurt her. “So we’re on tour, and you’re right. We have all the time we want together. I say next stop we try sight seeing?” sure, even sight seeing would have gotten the girl excited, dancing around in her seat at the possibility of what they’d see, and more important, what they would buy. But she sat stark still, just smiling that wane attempt of a smile at him, hoping that he could pick up on her attempt at cheerful and actually have it be believable.
TAGGED: charzie <33 // jackson <3 WORDS: one oh five two LISTENING TO: happy birthday - the click five NOTES: it is short but it works i'd like to think? hah CREDIT: MADE BY KISS AND TELL ! OF CAUTION 2.0. DO NOT REMOVE D<
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